Sunday, July 12, 2009

UFC 100

I'm back!

Brought out of retirement by boredom and being fired up by hypocrites. UFC 100 just wrapped up, and the most controversial win of the night was Brock Lesnar over Frank Mir. Not because of how it ended, but due to the fact that so called "purist" couldn't handle the fact that this ex-pro wrestler destroyed a "true mix martial artist" in Mir.

Long story short, after Brock annihilated Mir, he flipped off the crowd that was booing him and gave one of the greatest post-fight interviews ever. Complete with commentary on mounting his wife.

People are lashing out against the clearly better fighter due to pride, ignorance, and frankly being pussies. MMA isn't human cockfighting, but it's not chess either. MMA is about who has the biggest swinging dick (see. Michael Lewis, "Liar's Poker") in a man v. man scenario. Brock laid down the testosterone in copious amounts.

Now people are revolting the supposedly derogatory antics of the now unanimous champion. Sorry people, but this is what you signed up for. After being booed by the vast majority of crowd, you feel as if he would have fought every single one of them to shut them up. You know what? He would have beat them all.

MMA is about artistry and technique. It's not mindless brawling, but it does take on bravado and machismo more than any sport on earth. When two heated rivals enter the ring, and one embarrasses the other...expect braggadocio. Expect vulgarity. Expect cockiness. This is what you signed up for. As much as MMA fans want the sport to go mainstream, it will, but not on anyone else's terms.

Grow up. Don't settle for political correctness, don't try to treat this sport as if it's fucking polo. For those that were turned of by Brock's post fight...go to hell. You can not like Brock, but don't act as if this is disgusting or lewd. This is what you spent your 50 bucks for.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

MLB Preview 2009

The Phils are back as defending World Series Champions. It'll be difficult to repeat, but here are my predictions.

AL East:

The Sox have the strongest pitching staff and bullpen in the East. Need maintained productivity from Pedroia and Youkilis.

AL Central:

Most steady team in the Central. Always competitive and with Francisco Liriano healthy, solidifies the rotation. Their line-up is packed with speed, but driving in runs outside of Morneau is an issue. I'm tired of waiting for the Indians to come around. Look out for those Kansas City Royals

AL West:

The most boring division in the AL. Angels are the perennial favorites and with a solid bullpen and power up and down the line-up, why not? I think the A's will provide some friendly competition.

NL West:

I'm sure the Dodgers are the favorite, but they were very average last year before Manny. Without that energy Manny gave when he first showed up, things could be as dull and Joe Torre's expression during a game. In steps the D'Backs who have the best collection of young talent in the division. They need some of their Baby Backs to play to their level.

NL Central:

The Cubbies will win the division again, but with some more pressure from the St. Louis Cardinals. Keep in mind though, between Rich Harden, Ryan Dempster, Carols Zambrano, and Derek Lee this team could go down fast.

NL East:

Oh yes. Taking the division again. This time, by outright beating the Mets, not waiting for them to collapse. I'll say about the Phils, that is true of any good team, have great defense and bullpen. The Mets are weaker in the line-up, defense, starting pitching, and I'm not sold on their newly formed bullpen.

NL Wildcard:

Yeah, I guess the Mets may be around. I would love it if the Dodgers or Cards could come in and knock them off.

AL Wildcard:

The Rays will get back in. It'll be a fight, especially with the AL Central moving along. Too much bad mojo going around for the Yanks.


Josh Hamilton-Just because he's winning the Triple Crown


Chase Utley-He was due last year. He'll get it this year.

AL Cy Young:

Daisuke Matsuzaka-The World Baseball Classic gave him some juice. He could be ready to break out and dominate, not nibble by.

NL Cy Young:

Ricky Nolasco-The Marlins are going to be good. Ricky No is about to become a superstar.

NL Rookie of the Year:

Tommy Hanson-Because a random rookie pitcher always jumps to the front of the pack for this thing.

AL Rookie of the Year:

Matt Wieters-I don't actually believe this, but I wanted to mention that Wieters is being compared to Chuck Norris in the fact that he has his own little ridiculous sayings. Such as, "Matt Wieters took batting practice today. There were no survivors."

Ryan Howard HR: 51

Worst Phillie: Eric Bruntlett

World Series:

Phillies v. Twins


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

MLB: Man-Crush Fantasy Team

I was mocked by a kind reader a while back about my Top 5: Guys I'd Wanna Be list. He made some mention about my sexual preference, and although I found it to be out of nowhere and said more about his sexual preference than mine. Well this article won't help me at all, but I don't care. It's baseball season, I just had my keeper league draft, and it's time to rundown some of my favorite fantasy baseball guys (both known and sleeper) for the year. Plus this article is sponsored by the Paul Rudd-Jason Segal movie, "I Love You, Man" in theaters now. Ok, maybe not. Onwards!


The key with a catcher is really playing time and runs scored. Both are the hardest things to fill because due to the physically taxing nature of the position, you'll only get a guy out there for 130-140 games max. In fantasy you need players to play. So with Sandoval qualifying for the C in Yahoo! fantasy leagues, people should take advantage. Sandoval will most likely play in the field most of the year, making up for those lost games. Plus with the Giants offense being so weak, Sandoval is easily one of the most productive players on that team, and someone has to drive in runs.


I'm certainly not breaking the mold here, but Pujols is just such a dominant force. He was nursing an injured elbow last year, in a miserable line-up. Now he's back, healthy, and has an improved line-up (whether that's him making guys like Ryan Ludwick better or not). He'll put up his typical MVP numbers as he continues to be one of the best players in baseball.


For the defending World Series Champs, Chase Utley. After an MVP type start, Chase was hindered by a bum hip, which he played through for the second half and the playoffs. He had surgery in the offseason, and rumor was he could be out up to a month into the season. Phils fans had no doubt though, Chase is a gamer. Wouldn't you know it, he's back already, diving after grounders and just cracked his first homer of the spring. He'll round into form nicely. Plus he also had the highlight of the Phils World Series celebration.


Fantasy players have been waiting for a couple years now for Gordon to fulfill his hype coming out of the draft. Gordon, thought to be the next George Brett, has struggled in his first couple of years in the league. He still has trouble with lefties, and his average and power numbers are expected more out of Eric Bruntlett than the #2 pick of the MLB draft. The heart still lingers to see if this natural talent can finally pull through. Just the mere mention by one fantasy guru hinting at the possibility of a 40 HR 120 RBI still makes mouths water. He's starting to have a line-up built around him. A little protection and a little more experience might bring about the Gordon everyone has been waiting for.


Hanley Ramirez! #1 on the fantasy board and #1 in my heart. I've had this guy on my keeper team for 3 years now, and at 25 he is becoming an outright monster. Han-Ram went 30/30 last year with 125 runs scored, his RBI's suffered because he batted lead off, but he'll be third in the line-up now. His steals may drop, but if 30/30 is on the table, I have to think Hanley will go for it. Expect 100+RBI with 110 runs, and pretty much A-Rod numbers minus some RBI and plus steals. He'll only get better and I can't wait.


Ethier came into his own last year when Manny Ramirez arrived. Whether it was the protection in the line-up or the mental boost of having one of the best right handed hitters ever on deck, Andre settled in and had a monster second half. He finished with 20 HR and 77 RBI, but his ceiling is much higher than that.


One of the more miraculous comebacks in sports history, the former and, well, current can't miss prospect has had a coming of age over the past two years. This year will be the culmination of that return from drug abuse that nearly wiped away his career and life. He is the most potent player in an absolutely stacked offensive line-up. If Hamilton's health can keep up then 40+HR and a possible triple crown run is in his future.


Every year there is a super prospect that comes to the bigs. There was Ryan Braun, Evan Longoria, Matt Wieters this year, and Jay Bruce last year. Bruce did have some struggles on his way to his 21 bombs. He was in and out of the line-up, being shuffled in the order, but now his position is set, and he'll have the people around him to allow him to produce. He'll hit for a higher average, and his power numbers will go up as he matures.


Kershaw is another big upside guy. He had his first full year last year, and his stats are eerily similar to the break out pitcher of last year, Tim Lincecum. Kershaw has control issues that he needs to overcome, but with a better team behind him, he could put up slightly less dominant numbers than Lincecum did last year.


I didn't know who Jason Motte was before spring training, but in the hunt for the next Cardinals closer, Motte and his 100 mph fastball has rocketed him to the top of that list. With Chris Perez injured and Ryan Franklin useless, the job is probably going to be Motte's to start the year and his to lose as the season moves along. The Cards closers always puts up big numbers, and as long as La Russa sticks with Motte, it should be man-crush city.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Might of a Fight

The latest move by the brainiacs that run the NHL (stands for National Hockey League for those that don't recall the sports organ-I-zation) is to limit and eventually stop fighting in hockey.

Just as a bit of background, the NHL was once the least popular of the big four sports (baseball, football, basketball, hockey) then under the leadership of now NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, has subsequently completely fallen off the national sports radar behind golf, MMA, tennis, soccer, and even figure skating. Once seen on ESPN several nights a week, the NHL is now on Versus, a channel hardly anyone can find or care to look for. Visibility is at an all time low, oh, and did I mention there was a strike a couple of seasons back. A strike! It's laughable. So that's where the NHL is now, and here is where it's going...the way of the fucking brontosaurus.

To the non-sports fan, no fighting should sound like a positive, but in hockey it's a part of the culture. Not only legal since as long as I've heard anything about hockey, fighting is a safe way to protect other players on the ice. See these are large guys, flying around on blades throwing elbows, sticks, and anything they can in order to gain an advantage on a play, while not drawing a penalty. When players get a little carried away, to the point where it's upsetting to the other team, then two representatives from each team will have a conversation on the ice and throw down their gloves and have at it. Sure, sometimes it gets out of control, or sometimes way too in control, but that's the nature of the game. It's a tough sport originated by tough Canadians, who had nothing better to do in Ontario on a freezing pond.

The problem with this movement, aside from the in-game enforcement aspect, is that it is par for the course for what is killing the sport of hockey. It is trying to be like every other sport. This selling out in order to become mainstream has been going on for some time, since the NHL made notable efforts to increase scoring in the league. Granted, at the time, all the clutching and grabbing was not hockey, but larger goals, smaller pads, technologically advanced sticks have all accomplished this goal. Then they expanded. Took teams out of Canada and into Florida, Anaheim, and Columbus to make it more of an American sport. All absolutely terrible moves.

Now removing fighting is the one side of the sport that you can walk up to a non-hockey fan, and actually get him or her excited about watching a hockey game. The parts of the sport the NHL should be marketing, the flash, the speed, the fighting and the attitude are being muted in order to fit in with the cool kids.

A prime example is what happened with Sean Avery. The infamous agitator referred to his ex-girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, as "sloppy seconds" during an interview. This garnered headlines and press for the NHL in an ESPN world where no one cares. Clearly, this was in poor taste, but the NHL should spin this bad publicity into the kind of passion in sports fans. It's good vs. evil, rivalries and opinions. That's what gets people into sports.

How did the NHL handle it? They suspended Avery, which was fair, then basically dragged him through the streets like he was a Holocaust denier or something. He lost his job with the Stars, which was the team he was with at the time, relegated to the minors and banished until the NY Rangers came calling. If this happened in baseball or the NFL, you'll probably get some disciplinary action, and this has probably happened multiple times in the NBA and no one raised an eyebrow. If there is an opening to get some attention for your business, then you have to jump on it. The NHL once again turned away and just wanted to be a square peg trying to get into a round hole.

Hockey isn't just another sport. It is unique and they have to accept that. Grow in Canada, focus abroad, and realize that due to the semi-complex rules and low scoring it will never be on par with football or baseball. The NHL has it's best chance in being something different. A change of pace for the sports fan who is looking for a different outlet. There will always be the diehard fans in the NHL, always. It's a matter of getting those people who aren't fans. Fighting is a way to do that. But the NHL will never learn.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Stairway to Singles

What's your favorite album?


Maybe you have a stock answer ready to go. Maybe you need to explain why this album means this, and that album means that.

What's your favorite single?


I can bet you don't have a stock answer for that. It's an odd question. If narrowing down an album is difficult enough, try finding one singular song that sums up you.

Your answer to the former of my two questions is becoming less and less important. The days of albums are dwindling. I don't mean vinyl records or even CD's, I mean the concept of an album. A gathering of songs by an artist for distribution.

What got me thinking about this was that, for the first time, I read how the #1 Downloaded Song is Flo Rida's "Right Round," which shattered the 1,000,000 download mark faster than any single in history. That used to be the way Billboard wrote about albums.

Now, instead, there is Flo Rida, who has the #1 Single on iTunes as just that, a single. There is no album, no other tracks. He has generated over $1 million in gross income purely off of a single. A single that is using a sampling of Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me 'Right Round (Like a Record)" that was released in 1987!

What this all means is that in a world where album sales have fallen, artists want more and more money, and record companies looking to cash in quick, what is stopping the whole industry from just becoming a giant one-hit wonder factory?

Release a single on iTunes, get in on the radio, and let the money pour in. People don't want whole albums any more. They want to pick and choose individual songs for their library. More often than not, those individual songs are going to be songs like "'Right Round" or Lady GaGa's "Poker Face." There's no interest in hearing other songs, just the one's people know and want to hear.

Consider how music has become completely static over the years. Starting with the boy bands you had a formula. Sure it's been around forever, but it was done well by Michael Jackson or George Michael. Those 80's icons that made memorable songs. Instead as music has become more and more bastardized, we get less and less iconic names and more forgettable songs.

Go listen to "Gives You Hell" by All-American Rejects or Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You." Are people going to revere these songs and artists like those of 20 years ago? Hell no. There are #1 singles from 4 years ago I can't even remember who sang them.

When you can take a subpar late 80's pop song, use the hook, rap over it about girls or going out or what clothes you wear, and make millions, that is sending the wrong message to everyone. Music loses it's creativity and it's motivation. How can there be any in a world where relevant, intelligent, and should be iconic bands, like TV on the Radio or M.I.A. are left to the minority to fight it out for minor acclaim?

It used to be that one-hit wonder was a negative. It was embarrassing. It showed that a blind squirrel can find a nut. Every so often you'd get a great on-hit wonder that would live on forever. Now, to be a one-hit wonder is a great thing. Just keep on doing it. Don't worry about a whole album. Just spurt out pop-infused blather over a catchy hook and let your $.99 roll in hand over fist. Artists are becoming less artists and more jukebox. Hey J-Kwon, give me a song about being "Tipsy" or if I'm in college, maybe I just want to spend three and a half minutes listening to a song about how much I love college?! Thanks, Asher Roth! I mean REALLY?! with Rob Grundlock. This is taking us to a place that I don't want to go. A place that society pretty much demands, and no one is going to go out of their way to stop.

There are no Nirvanas or Led Zeppelins coming because they don't do what popular culture demands of their artist, they make music...not singles.

MVP of SI Swimsuit?

Miss Irina Shayk

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Sports can bring a lot of joy and teach a lot of lessons to people. I know whether I've been watching sports or playing them, I've learned something that I can safely say I would not have learned in any other facet of my life. So after a couple of weeks where Michael Phelps is hitting a 'marijuana pipe' aka A BONG, the Yankees are spending half a billion dollars during a recession year, and A-Roid coming clean about his dirty past, you can kind of lose focus on what makes sports so enjoyable.

In what is now a business filled with me-first, selfish and spoiled players, how can I enjoy something that promotes Pacman Jones's lifestyle? Why would I fork over my time and money for a bunch of millionaires on the field who could not care less whether I root for them or watch a rerun of 30 Rock?

When I was at a time of such reflection, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition came out. Instantaneously I was pulled back to all that was good about sports. My sports universe had a center again, and I think that center occurs somewhere around the trifolds of Bar Refaeli's cover. So thank you SI, and thank you Bar. Feel free to get in touch with me.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Friday Night Lights

So I finally got around to watching Friday Night Lights, the much heralded but viewerless TV show on NBC that is based off of the movie of the same name. I've heard many times how good of a show this was, and normally my reaction is to revolt and ignore the possibility of this program being any good. Hence, the show debuted in 2006, and I'm now watching in 2009. Thanks to Hulu this process has been cost-effective and also enabled me to run through the program pretty quickly. I'm around the half way point of Season 1 and wanted to share some thoughts to get some people in on the fun.

Plain and simple, if you like any of the following things in any combination at all then you will like this show:
A. Sports
B. Hot girls
C. Unintentionally funny actors trying to be athletes
D. Ridiculous sporting event scenarios
E. Gossip
F. Actors that are clearly in their mid-20's playing high school kids

So there you go, I think that covers pretty much everyone. Now here are some more specific thoughts.

This show has more hot girls pound for pound than any show on TV...ever. The list is a murder's row of attractive ladies. Connie Britton, as coach's wife, is the anchor, then you have Minka Kelly, Adrianne Palicki, Aimee Teagarden, Taylor Kitsch... Whoops, forgot that was a dude. He is what the Sports Guy call "uncomfortably handsome." Anyway, the dude aside, it is a feast for the eyes, and adds to the fact that virtually every frame is filled with a lovely lady to move the story along.

Even prime time shows like Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210 had some subpar talent milling around with the beauties (Tori Spelling). FNL just said screw it, we'll give the people what they want.

The one down note is that it makes you bitter that you didn't go to school with girls like this. It is that unrealistic and yet, we all wish it was how things were. Then again Minka and Adrianne are much older than a high schooler, so it lays some unfair standards for people to set their goals by.

That sort of brings me to my next thought. Through half the first year, I cannot tell who is better looking, Minka Kelly or Adrianne Palicki. The thing is that I can't make the decision because I figure their characters into my evaluation. Minka plays head cheerleader and overall goodie goodie, Lyla Garrity. That's all well and good, but then she cheats on her parapalegic boyfriend with his best friend! Only on TV, I know. So that's major negative points.

Adrianne Palicki's character is the tramp, rabble rouser, vixen that any drama involving beautiful people need. It's the typical Shannon Doherty/Heather Locklear role. So those are negatives, then again she is much more of a fun character than Lyla. It's still a toss up, and if I never come to a decision, I'll live, but I'll wait until the end of the season where hopefully things will become clear one way or another.

I will never like Matt Saracen. I don't care if he watches over
his grandmom.

The Dillon Panthers win more ridiculous games than any real or fictional team in history. If they played in Philly, people would be complaining that with out a few favorable bounces this team would be 1-3 not 3-1 or whatever. Then again Philly is naturally negative, while Dillon lives and breathes for a high school team.

Secretly I want Jason Street to make a full recovery, then get the itch to play pro ball, have a whole training montage thing, then ship him up to the Canadian Football League where he'd get discovered and go to the NFL. It's a little Gordon Bombay in Mighty Ducks and Kurt Warner's story put together. Only with hotter girls and drama involved. Not a bunch of punk kids from S-7 or the annoying look of Kurt Warner.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Movie Thoughts

The Unborn is a new movie out from the co-writer of The Dark Knight. While little buzz is being generated about this flick, it got my attention because it stars Glockthoughts favorite, Miss Odette Yustman.

Also, speaking of horror films, what's the deal with the My Bloody Valentine 3D movie? Great idea or horrible idea? Is everyone going to die by thrown pick axe or other random object being tossed at the victim? If I was 15, I would definitely go see this.

For a movie I haven't heard anything about and only saw trailers for, that Taken movie looks pretty solid.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Plane! The Plane!

I've been following this story for the past couple of days, and just have to share a couple of thoughts.

What is this guys thought process? Obviously, he did something wrong. So, he apparently tried to fake his own death in order to escape any persecution. However, he did so by pulling off probably the worst fake death ever. Let's make a fake SOS call about how your windshield shattered, sending thousands of pieces of windshield gas into your body, presumably leaving you a bloody mess and on your way to death.

All well and good, but how would you explain when people find your plane with no blood and no body in there? Plus, apparently any half-ass pilot could tell that auto pilot was on and with a door open on the plane, clearly indicate someone jumped out.

If you have a plane, why not just fly to Mexico? If you truly want to kill yourself, well, then how about finding a more effective method. If you want to plead insanity, then you're off to a good start, but it'll be hard to carry that far back enough to get you out of defrauding any clients of yours.

Then, after he crashed the plane (!!!!) and parachuted down, he went to authorities, asked for help, checked in to a hotel under a fake name (while being recorded by security cameras), left abruptly and grabbed a motorcycle he was holding in a garage and just drove off. Where the hell was he going? What was his end game plan? Just cruise around on his hog for the rest of his life? Why crash so close to home? I mean, if I had to run out of my house right now, I could figure out a better escape plan than this guy.

I guess that's what happens when a douchebag tries to escape the crimes of his greed and selfishness.

This case really creates a lot more questions than it answers.