Reading Rainbow & A Comedy Show

August is almost upon us, and what that means is a month of my NFL Preview articles. I love doing it. I think it's fun to be right and funny how wrong I can be sometimes. So since that is on the horizon, I just wanted to pass along a couple of reviews for a limited assortment of items.

BOOK REVIEWS:



Consider The Lobster by David Foster Wallace

One of the joys of my college experience was learning that I didn't have to take a math requirement. As a result I picked up a class titled Contemporary American Short Story. That class, ended up being one of my favorite during my time at college, and one of its lasting impressions was my introduction to David Foster Wallace. DFW has become one of my favorite authors and has the literary work to back it up.

His latest installment, Consider the Lobster, finds the always enlightening and entertaining DFW tackling everything from porn awards to John McCain on the campaign trail. He can write as intellectually and dramatically whether he is discussing double penetration shots or the lull of redundant speeches. The manner in which he, almost easily, transitions from a place of pure absurdity to the heights of intellectual prose is as impressive as it is depressing.

While the lyrical gymnastics DFW goes through makes you love to read his essays, at the same time, any one with any hope of ever publishing anything has to leave disheartened as DFW is certainly the foremost stylistic writer out there. You think he is just writing stream of thought through the way he presents himself, but when you take in the essays as a whole you realize that each piece of writing is incredibly intricate and imaginative that no human could spout out such words in such a format.

For people that aren't familiar with DFW, I probably wouldn't recommend starting with this book, but if you do, you'll know from the first story (the one about the porn awards) whether you're on board or not. The constant footnotes and long digressions could frustrate one that is not ready to commit fully to such a reading, and the reading only gets more difficult as the book progresses.

This book ranks up there with DFW finest works. If you are willing to commit to the reading and want to enjoy great essays on a wide variety of subjects, then give this book a go around.

For the ratings system I wanted to do something different than simple numbers. I want a symbol, like "Two Thumbs Up" like that. So I decided to flip the script. I'm using a symbol, but not a positive symbol. As a result of using a negative symbol instead of a scale of 1-5 with 5 being the best, one is the best because more of a negative thing would be bad. Follow?

So, what's something bad, related to books that I can rate these things with? Papercuts. Done.

1.5/5 Papercuts



Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

I followed up Consider the Lobster with Klosterman's book of essays. Now, initially this was a mistake. Klosterman's style is different than DFW in that it is much more straight forward and, for lack of a better term 'simple.' Now, while no one would or should expect a bunch of DFWs running around, but Klosterman's essence is in his ability to universalize seemingly obscure Gen X topics. His seeming irreverence serves as an opening to topics and ideas that do ring true to all kinds of people.

He touches on Billy Joel, Saved By The Bell, and lots of other topics that only invite the reader to take Klosterman's deranged trip along with him. Even though some of the topics were a little before my time, I was able to enjoy myself much more after I moved past this whole, he's not DFW thing.

Klosterman is an interesting read, and his ability to use random facts (a personal favorite thing of mine) and to relate personal experiences of his to a more universal appeal that comments on society in general is a great thing to behold. This is the first Klosterman book I have read, and I will be sure to follow up with his work in the near future.

1/5 Papercuts

IT'S COMEDY

Ricky Gervais



Ever more famous actor/writer/director/comedian, Ricky Gervais, creator of "The Office" and "Extras" took some time out of his now busy movie schedule to do some shows in America for an HBO special.

I saw the opportunity to jump on these tickets months ago, and since Ricky is one of my favorite, I guess entertainers is the word, I couldn't miss one of his few New York City shows. I have seen some of Ricky's comedy before on Youtube, and what is unique about him is that he is not a comedian by trade. His background is more in writing and acting.

This lack of polish is evident as Ricky takes the stage. Granted he is in a crown and cape as his name lights up right behind him, so confidence is not the issue. He transfers from story to improvised rant back to material in a semi-awkward way, but charming and enjoyable the whole time. For every politically incorrect shot he takes, he is sure to deflect any feelings of ill will by mocking himself, and his new found celebrity.

It was great to see him live and in person, and while the worst thing I could do was try to recreate some of his jokes, I will say some of his funniest moments include a pamphlet and Humpty Dumpty. Sadly, I feel like people that tune into HBO to see Ricky's special as a means to "see what he is about," they may be disappointed as his stand up does not nearly equate to the hilarity on The Office and Extras. For a Ricky fan like myself it was a blast, and I hope he comes around again soon.

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight made $155 million this weekend. That means a lot of people saw it. So, I'm not really censoring myself spoiler wise. I'm not going to blow the whole movie, point for point, but there are some things I want to touch on that might ruin certain surprises to the movie that those who have not. So I'm warning you now. Read ahead, or go see the flick then check this out.



Considered by most to be the most anticipated movie of the summer, The Dark Knight opened under a ton of fan excitement and critical buzz. Pushed to a new level of fandom via a hardcore viral campaign. People became so enthralled with the idea of this movie that many were ready to proclaim it a masterpiece based on the trailers alone. While I was excited about Christopher Nolan's follow up to Batman Begins, I held any judgments until I actually saw the flick.

Needless to say, the writer/director did not disappoint. After all is said and done about this film, the one thing that left me the most pleased and surprised was the script Christopher Nolan and his brother Jonathan put together. The story encompassed everything from Batman lure and suspenseful action along with references to Star Wars, The Godfather, politics, religion, philosophy, and probably some more modicums of intellectual grandeur I'm not smart or fortunate enough to know about. Seriously, some of the story points and visuals Nolan uses in this film is the kind of stuff people write books about. You can interpret the entire scope of the film by these categories and probably make a pretty interesting argument.

Just for example, from my own education, is a theme of the philosophical theory of utilitarianism. Without referencing my college notes, utilitarianism is the theory that one should act in the manner that is in the greater good of everyone, and not for personal gain. Therefore, the outcome of an action is judged by the affect it has on the greater good. In short, the ends justify the means. There are numerous nods to this concept in this movie, and as I mentioned, this is only a small part of the overall interpretation. The Nolans really deserve a lot of credit for creating such a deep and complex script out of a comic book movie of all things. Also, Christopher Nolan shot about 20 minutes of the movie on IMAX film for a grander scope. It worked out incredibly, and if you have an IMAX theater in proximity to you, you must go see it in this format. It isn't even close compared to regular projection.

The acting was stellar as usual. Most importantly, the Rachael Dawes character was recast from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal. While maintaining the weird faced attractiveness of Holmes, Jake's sister definitely added an acting punch. The other notable addition not named Heath Ledger (more on him later), Aaron Eckhart picked up the role of Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent, who of course eventually becomes Two-Face. Eckhart really portrays Gotham's white knight wonderfully. The Two-Face makeup didn't exactly do him any favors, seeing as it was quite cartoonish, but he is able to show Dent's darker side before the eventual Two-Face transformation takes place.

The returning actors benefitted from expanded roles since the audience was now familiar with their characters. Michael Cain, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman all enjoyed a greater impact in TDK over BB. The one person that sort of lost a step was actually Christian Bale. He spends most of this movie as Batman, not Bruce Wayne, which left him in a one dimensional phase, but when Bale was allowed to be Batsuit free, he is able to hold his own as an emotionally devoid and lonely billionaire attempting desperately to find his normal life.

Of course a lot of the hype behind this film came from the late Heath Ledger's performance. Tasteful or not, the studio execs really made Ledger's Joker the focus of the film. His performance is certainly something special, and will surely take the stage as one of the best villains ever put to film. Everything you hear about his performance is an understatement until you see it for yourself. Foregoing any sort of back story, The Dark Knight introduces this new version of The Joker as a pure menace. A personification of fear and panic, The Joker is all together a criminal mastermind, funny, scary, unpredictable, charismatic, likable, intimidating, and strange. All of these aspects highlight Ledger's performance and there truly isn't enough screen time spent with The Joker. For the Oscar talk, Ledger definitely deserves a nomination, but in the Best Supporting Actor Category. He carries the same presence as last year's winner, Javier Bardem, did in No Country for Old Men. He won't win Best Actor, but he will definitely be a front runner for Best Supporting. Who would have guessed the guy from 10 Things I Hate About You had the potential to be a great actor? Guess you never know.

Sadly, it was pretty clear by the end of the movie that The Joker was due for at least one more go around with Batman, but that will only happen with another actor taking on the role.

With all those good things to be said, there were some negatives. There was a main story arch that carried the movie up until about the 1hr 45min mark, then the last half hour or so felt disjointed and dragged a bit. The situations seemed out of nowhere in relation to the beginning of the film, and dare I say, some of the film felt a bit Batman Foreverish...not Batman & Robinish, but Batman Foreverish.

Also the way the film handled the transformation of Harvey Dent to Two-Face seemed rushed and rather simple as The Joker manipulated Dent to go from a symbol of good to a symbol of evil. Without giving away too much, Two-Face is motivated by his love for Rachael Dawes, and well, things don't really work out for them. For this to be a believable motivation for Two-Face, there has to be more longing and time between when things fall apart for Dent/Dawes, and when Two-Face goes around killing people. I mean longing makes the heart grow fonder, plus let's face it, even in the fictional city of Gotham, these two were probably due for a divorce anyway. He's the DA for one of the most crime-riddled cities in the world. He has to work long hours and deal with the scum of the Earth, under unbelievable amounts of stress. Then Rachael is either working with him, which is never good when married people work together, or at home taking care of their kid while Harvey is out giving his all to the city. You don't think she'll feel neglected, or he'll grow tired of the hassle of being married? Their marriage would have been doomed from the get go.

That last segment of the movie could have been edited to be the first half or even the entire third movie, with an easy ending added to The Dark Knight instead. This would have solved some of The Joker issues, and allowed Two-Face to take the necessary amount of time to make his character progress as need be. Now the third movie is really in limbo. Any multitude of things could take place, and it could go really good or really bad.

That is several years away, so no need to think too much about that at this point. Just enjoy this truly intense and surprisingly dark film that will have you engaged from the opening heist to the final scene.

Directing:8.0/10
Acting: 9.5/10
Plot: 9.0/10
Re-Watchability: 10.0/10
DVD Purchase: 10.0/10

Overall: 9.3/10

VOTE FOR BURRELL

With the upcoming Presidential elections in November there is still a lot to be decided when a voter on the fence must choose between Barack Obama or John McCain. Thankfully, Major League Baseball has made thing easy for baseball fans by placing a clear favorite up for election in this year's All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Pat Burrell is a vote-in candidate for the final spot in the All-Star game. Despite his NL Outfield leading 21 HR's Burrell did not collect enough votes to garner a much deserved position. Now, Burrell hasn't always been a fan favorite in Philly and perhaps cities like Chicago blindly back their team in All-Star balloting (see. Kosuke Fukudome), but he does deserve to make his first All-Star team in his 9 year career.

In actuality, Burrell will probably be selected to the team either by the vote in or due to injuries, but I want to give him the added privilege of being voted in by the fans. It's really down to him and David Wright, and I can't allow for a Met to win. So go to the title link and give your vote. Supposedly you can vote up to 25 times, but I've been voting constantly and don't know if there is in fact a limit.

So, if you missed Bachman of (B.T.O. aka the "Taking Care of Business" "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" guy) at Cooper River this past July 4th, do your patriotic duty and vote for Pat the Bat!

Music Review: Coldplay - Viva la Vida

It does not matter that Coldplay is absolutely the shittiest fucking band I've ever heard in my entire fucking life, or that they sound like a mediocre photocopy of Travis (who sound like a mediocre photocopy of Radiohead), or that their greatest fucking artistic achievement is a video where their blandly attractive frontman walks on a beach on a cloudy fucking afternoon.

-Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

After Coldplay wrapped their tour for their last album X&Y, rumor was they were taking a break for a while. Now, I come from the world of Metallica and Tool, where time between albums is usually a five year wait, so I was surprised to see Coldplay back with this new release only two years later.

Despite some of the initial comments I made in my X&Y review, time allowed me to realize that Coldplay was becoming a bit bloated and were on the verge of becoming a parody of themselves. The high falsetto voice of Chris Martin, the soaring music, and the artistic snobbery that can come with being one of the biggest bands on the planet. Keeping your feet on the ground can be a challenge, and in successive albums since their sparkling debut, Coldplay was losing that battle.

If the time off served the lads any purpose it was a chance to take a step back from their whirlwind few years and reassess what they wanted to do musically. Their decision was compromise.

Coldplay will never come back with an album quite like Parachutes again, but with Viva and U2 Producer Brian Eno at the helm Coldplay has found a balance between the pop hits that have made them who they are and the subtle nuances that give them musical cred.

Just a note, the Klosterman quote at the beginning of the article made me laugh, then made me feel bad for liking Coldplay for about three seconds, but then I realized two things. First, while Klosterman's critique is partially true, he is slightly exaggerating his hatred for Coldplay to serve the larger purpose of his essay and what "Coldplay" represents, and second, even if he does truly have those feelings (circa 2000) he later goes on to reference The White Stripes and Jane's Addiction as "great." Eh, not so much, Chuck. Plus, as humorous as I may find him, he is a music snob. I can admit I like bands like Coldplay. Music is such a subjective medium that it seems almost impossible for an individual to purely like "cool" music. Anyway...

The songs on the album are more pulled back than some of the soaring epics on X&Y. For example, the album opens with a musical intro, and aside from the title track and the reprehensible "Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love" there are no blatantly pop-happy songs. That is not to say there are not great songs on this album. I think "Viva la Vida" is a very quality song. Other highlights are "Lost!" (not "Lost?") and "Yes."

Coldplay's new sound incorporates everything from harps, to mandolins, a horn section, surprisingly minimal drums, and those Spanish mariachi things.

Lyrically I found some of the lyrics to be trite. Lyrics about getting to heaven, crossing rivers, dead people living in heads are pretty run of the mill, but I'm willing to go along with it. After all, I was telling Coldplay to be a little less snobby.

This album definitely won't win you over the first time through, but it shouldn't push you away either. Their sort of lost marching band concept from their video "Violet Hill" is a good reference point for the aspect and mood for the album. In time, I think it will surely be viewed as a good album.

Worth the Purchase: 4/5
Compared to Prior Works: 3.5/5
Progression: 3/5
Sound: 4/5
Production: 4/5

Final Score: 3.7/5

*Note: New rating system is in place. All old ratings will need to be adjusted.

Top 5: Hottest Female Athletes

Following my inspired Top 5: Guys I'd Wanna Be List, I've decided to add to the legacy of the Top 5 by counting down the Top 5: Hottest Female Athletes. What I'm looking for is a blend of looks and talent along with still being active in athleteics. Anna Kournikovas, need not apply. So ONWARD!

HONORABLE MENTION:

These girls haven't quite made their impact sports wise to consider them an adequate blend of accomplishments and looks. Then again, I guess I could have put some semi-ugly girls who have accomplished a lot in sports (i.e. Olympic Gold Medalist, Natalie Coughlin), but where would be the fun in that?

HOPE SOLO

She's the goalie for the United States Women's National Soccer Team. She made some waves last year due to her benching for veteran goalkeeper, Briana Scurry (she was not considered for this article), during the 2007 World Cup loss to Brazil. She also appears in the Nike Sparq Training Commercial (44 sec.). And that's about it.

ASHLEY FORCE

She races funny cars and is the daughter of funny car legend, John Force. I'm not sure if the last name is made up, but there is something very "Vin Diesel-ish" going on here.

ANA PAULA MANCINO/LOKELANI MCMICHAEL

Apparently the former is a volleyball player and the latter is a tri-athlete. Whatever.

DQ'd FOR BEING GROSSLY OVERRATED

SERENA WILLIAMS

DANICA PATRICK

AMANDA BEARD


5. SASHA COHEN

The 23 year-old figure skater is a 2006 U.S. National Champion, 2003 Grand Prix Final Champion, and 2006 Olympic silver medalist. While she may have fallen short of some of her higher expectations earlier in her career, Cohen has put together an impressive resume and should continue for several more years. As for looks, well she is bendy, and has taken to some part time modeling and acting. I'm sure that will go well.



4. CANDACE PARKER

She has already won multiple NCAA Championships and any individual award a female basketball player can win. Now she is with the LA Sparks in the WNBA for at least a year until a foreign team picks her up for double the money. Oh, and if you want a guy that went way out of his league, here's her fiance, NBA basketball player Shelden Williams. Whoops, I mean here. Sure she may have poor judgment and is rather awkward, but she's 6'4 for the love of God! Plus, an attractive WNBA player? Come on, that's something.

3. MARIA SHARAPOVA

At 6'2 Maria is no slouch. The former #1 Player in the World is 21 and already has 19 career titles and is a French Open win away from a career grand slam. I mean, the woman should be just wrapping up her Junior year of college, not warming up for Wimbledon in two weeks. I know some people may think M-Sharp is #1, but I think others are a little bit better. Who knows, there may even be a hotter female tennis player out there...hmmm.

2. TANITH BELBIN

Tanith jumped to the public's attention during the Turin Olympics, winning the Silver Medal for the US for Ice Dancing. Apparently Ice Dancing is like figure skating except more boring. What makes it not so boring? Tanith Belbin.



1. ANA IVANOVIC

Alright, you caught me. The 2008 Women's French Open Champ caught my eye. She's really the whole purpose of this article, and I really don't care. She's now the #1 Ranked Women's Tennis Player and is all set to hone in on some of M-Sharp's publicity dough. Frankly, I think she'll be worth every penny. If she can keep up this level of play (which she supposedly can) then a couple years of Ivanovic v. Sharapova wouldn't hurt women's tennis at all. The hottest female athlete is still named Ana, just drop an 'n'. Rock on, Ana.

Kimbo Slice Is Not The Face Of MMA

The sport of mixed martial arts makes its network debut tonight on CBS. The two hour fight card is headlined by the infamous Kimbo Slice. Touted as the face of MMA, rival (and I use rival very loosely) to the far superior UFC, Elite XC has gone the route of many other fledgling MMA leagues by pumping up one individual superstar to carry the entire league. In this case, they have found pay dirt in Kimbo, the former backyard brawler. He carries just enough general popularity and curious intrigue to make MMA and non-MMA fans alike tune it to see what many neophytes in the country think will be a wild swinging/punching brawl that ends in a brutal knockout. That, however, is not what MMA is as a sport, nor what it should be marketed as. The complexities of mixed martial arts is far better understood through what each fighter brings to the octagon/cage/ring as opposed to what is perceived on the surface level.

To Kimbo's credit, he has ridden the wave of MMA popularity to bring himself money and notoriety. He certainly has the strength and punching power to put on a good show, but he lacks the overall polish elite fighters in the sport possess. After knocking out two cupcake fights in the form of Ray Mercer and Tank Abbott [with Abbott's only shot at winning was being powered by his immense hatred for minorities (no, I'm not joking)] Kimbo is hyped up enough to bring in some pretty decent numbers for tonight's TV event. While I'm sure he has been training hard to improve his MMA pedigree there is only so much ground he can make up.

Take for example, UFC Heavyweight Champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. "Minotauro" is a 6'3 241 lb. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master from Brazil. Along with a background in Judo and boxing, Big Nog has also ran through some of the top talent in MMA. Beating the likes of Mirko Cro Cop, Dan Henderson, Josh Barnett, Tim Sylvia, and Mark Coleman. Far from the Mercer and Abbott victories Kimbo has. Now, no one has attempted or even considered putting Kimbo in the same league as Big Nog or any of the previously mentioned heavy weight fighters. The point remains that for Kimbo to be considered by popular culture as an "icon" in the utmost superficial meaning of the word would be misappropriated and borderline enraging to true MMA fans.

There are two types of opinions people have about MMA in general. Either it is brutal and barbaric, a poor man's version of boxing or true MMA fighters are some of the most talented and well-versed athletes in the world today. The product being pumped through the waves of CBS tonight is MMA in some form. There are respected fighters on the card, but as far as Kimbo being the fighter to represent the whole spectrum of he certainly is not. So when he does fight, or when you read about it in the paper or online, keep in mind that at this point he is more circus sideshow than world class MMA fighter.

My First Year Being A Soccer Fan

One of the last articles I wrote on the old (oldest) site was my initial tackling of the English Premier League. While this may not seem like all too big a deal, the prospect of picking up an entirely new sport, league, and culture was a lot to handle in one season, but I feel like I made some major strides. Thanks to soccer fantasy leagues, ESPN Soccernet, Fox Soccer Channel, and a myriad of blogs on the Internet I've caught on pretty quick. For those of you that haven't read the aforementioned article, after my selection process was over I selected Arsenal as my team.

No matter where my sports alliances lie, it appears to be that I may be the source of bad luck because as soon as I pledged my loyalty to Arsenal they lost one of their all time great players, Thierry Henry and were threatened to be taken over by foreign investors. However, as the season began, things turned around. The remaining players pulled together and were leading the Premier League by the half way point. This was quite remarkable and many people left Arsenal for dead (which in the Premier League means finishing in 4th place), but nonetheless Arsenal's ability to play beautiful football and out play other teams was impressive for sure.






Of course, I wouldn't be lucky enough to actually have the luxury of choosing my sports team, then have them win a championship that very year. No, no. After the half way point, Arsenal grew tired and fatigued lacking the depth and experience necessary to carry out a full season. Players, like Cesc Fabregas (pictured) and Emmanuel Adebayor hit cold spells, and before you knew it, Arsenal was out of every major competition for the year. It was pretty disastrous and a huge let down for me, let alone the fans that have rooted for Arsenal all their lives.




Now the team is on the rebound, per se. Their salary structure is under fire as teams like Manchester United and Chelsea basically have none, and this stinginess is causing a lot of gripping among players on the team even causing two starting midfielders, Matthieu Flamini and Alex Hleb to leave for more lucrative deals. Arsenal appears to be changing their ways slightly offering new contracts to Cesc Fabregas and Gael Clichy. Arsenal is also hot on the tracks of several young stars from France, most notably 20 year-old Samir Nasri. Don't let the goofy uniform fool you, the guy is tabbed as the next Zinedine Zidane. Now, Arsenal must move forward and add the depth necessary to sustain a full season in all tournaments. The problem with this is that Arsenal has always leaned towards young, inexpensive players (which I enjoy) and they are also in huge debt due to their new stadium and no foreign billionaire backing their spending. Now, this is a viable way to sustain a team as many European soccer teams are losing money due to the global economy and increased player salaries. Personally, I think Arsenal can win this way, but there must be some common ground in order to hold onto players like Cesc, Adebayor, and go get skilled veteran players that can help now.

Overall, European soccer is fannnntastic. The games are exciting, the format is great, and once they get HD programming, it's all over. It's a great way to spend a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and I always enjoy a new sports pursuit. I suppose the most surprising (in a good way) thing is how much I took to really rooting for Arsenal. By the end of the season, I felt the same way about an Arsenal win/loss as I would with the Phils or Flyers.

So, if I haven't pumped you guys up enough for soccer, try to check out the Euro 2008 that starts on June 7th. It's an international clash of all the top Euro teams in a month long tournament. You'll find about 95% of the world's best players taking part, and it is easily accessible on ESPN2. Now, my biggest problem is what team to root for. Japan isn't European, and I guess my default would be Germany, but I really don't associate myself too much with my German heritage. I kind of like the French team because Arsenal has so many French players, and I kind of want to root for Portugal just so I have a reason to root for Cristiano Ronaldo. I think it's gonna either be France or Germany. So we'll see. But check it out, hope you'll be joining me next year (which starts in August!).

Movie Review: Iron Man

Iron Man kicks off the Summer Blockbuster Season. Stop me if you've heard this before. Yes, it is true, Summer and Summer Blockbusters are coming. Screw plot, acting, and intelligence, let's get some CGI, explosions, sequels, and overly attractive people that can't act. While Iron Man applies to to most of those stereotypes, the reason I didn't write off Iron Man all together is that Iron Man is portrayed by Robert Downey, Jr. Also, with this whole "origination" superhero movie that started with Spider-man and was taken to a new level by Batman Begins, superhero movies have gone up a notch beyond just parading guys in tights in front of the screen.

To be honest, all I really knew about Iron Man were a couple of cartoon episodes I watched when I was a kid, and of course the Jerry and George debate on Seinfeld as to whether Tony Stark aka Iron Man wore some sort of undergarment beneath his suit (the answer is yes).

Commercial break: I'm watching TV and this Budweiser commercial comes on. It's talking about the 100+ years of brewing tradition and how it is the "Great American Lager." Listen guys at Bud...we all know Budweiser sucks. It tastes horrible, leaves your stomach in knots, and isn't of high regard for most people. Technically, it's not even a beer, let alone a lager. The ingredients make Bud more of a rice wine than a beer. Give it up, Bud. You're not fooling anyone.

So what I was really looking for from Iron Man was his origins. Unlike Superman, Batman, Spider-man, etc. I wasn't sure what made Iron Man tick or why billionaire arms developer, Tony Stark took on this new persona. The beginning, although slow, was really the main point of interest for me. Ok, so Tony Stark was a kid genius, inherited his dad's weapon manufacturer, and as many spoiled genius kids are...they develop a drinking problem and live a lavish life womanizing and driving awesome cars. Oh, the second best part of the movie, Tony Stark's Audi R8. It is an amazing car, and coincidentally, I saw an all black one rolling down the streets of Philly the next day. That's $110,000 base model, folks. I would kill for less.




Anyway, back to the origin, Tony Stark is captured and fill in the spoiler blanks, he becomes Iron Man. That part, as I said was slow, but not unbearable as long as there is a pay off for it. However, there was none. Iron Man slacks once it gets into the whole fighting the villains, plot part. There are a couple of interesting moments where Iron Man dismantles a terrorist network in some generic Middle Eastern city, as far as the action is concerned, but there isn't any real drive or purpose behind the action, the villains, and why Iron Man is taking these people down.

The villain is obvious from the get go of the movie, laying waste to one of the worst "Surprise! You thought I was a Good Guy Guys" ever. Then, who is Iron Man fighting? Terrorists? The "SYTIWAGGG?" There needs to be some focus there. Also, I'm not appreciative of the whole, generic terrorists angle. There was no reason why they did what they did or reasoning as to why they acted the way they were. We were just supposed to assume, oh these guys are from the Middle East somewhere, they must want to kill the United States and destroy our way of living because that's what Middle Eastern people do. Just a little more thought to certain aspects like that are what separates a great superhero movie from an average superhero movie.

Also, it looks like Iron Man just deals with global problems. He doesn't stop bank robberies or local problems like your typical superhero, but he uses his suit to tackle world issues. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not, but it appears to be the situation.

Iron Man tries to be an outstanding superhero movie though. As I mentioned, they cast Robert Downey, Jr. as a superhero, which is odd to say the least, and they went after Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Terrence Howard to round out the main players. All of them had particularly forgettable roles and weren't given much to work with character wise. They were all very one dimensional and just second fiddle to Downey's role.

Director Jon Favreau does an admirable job with his first Blockbuster, but his lack of experience does show on the major plot and story points. He seems to be more concerned with the effects, rather than the character development that has made him a successful director up to this point. Despite the wide palate of possibilities Favreau is presented with, he keeps this movie pretty by the book. There aren't any truly memorable moments, nor was there much creativity on Favs part. He even gave himself an overdone cameo as Stark's bodyguard. Plus, would it have killed him to throw in an answering machine scene?

Overall, Iron Man does kick off the Summer Blockbuster season with the hype, promotion, effects, and big box office returns that one would expect. This is not Batman Begins more Fantastic Four (minus Jessica Alba). Major Boo points. Anyway, this movie will entertain those that want to be entertained, but beyond some improvised lines from Downey and the R8, Iron Man proves to be pretty forgettable.

Directing:3.0/10
Acting: 7.5/10
Plot: 4.0/10
Re-Watchability: 6.0/10
DVD Purchase: 2.0/10

Overall: 4.5/10

EDITOR'S NOTE: Just picked this up after I posted my review, but I left out the best thing about the whole movie experience. I went to see it at the Ritz in Voorhees, and who should walk in the lobby as I was enjoying a coffee, but Brian Dawkins. That's right B-Dawk was in the house looking as if he wasn't trying to be noticed, except for the fact that I know what Dawk looks like and I'm betting the average movie goer isn't ripped to shreds like he is. Sure enough, he was going to see Iron Man with two guests. Of course I went in after he entered the theater and sat about 10 feet away from him. It was a cool experience, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin his evening and draw attention to him. Good times though.



Yes, that is a photoshopped picture of a fully uniformed Brian Dawkins making love to Jessica Simpson while Romo cries. Guess it was funnier when Romo and the uglier Simpson sister were still together. Oh well, funny nonetheless.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I'm reworking the site. It's not done yet so lay off me!! In the meantime, enjoy the sleepy kitten.

Coming up:

Iron Man Review
Wrap up of my first season following the English Premier League

Also, check out the Foo Fighters reference link on the side of the site. I had a nice conversation with an ACTUAL Foo Fighters fan!

Courtesy Flush

First off, I would like to apologize for my baseball picks. I'll admit, they were a little rushed, and although I'm not willing to write them off entirely since we are just at the 20 game mark, a lot of my "predictions" have been horrible. For example, the Tigers winning the World Series without any bullpen and a new offense that hasn't meshed yet. Then there's me not picking Chase Utley for NL MVP. Nine homers later, I feel like a bum. Not only because he is my favorite Phil, but I deliberately did not pick Chase because I didn't want to seem biased. So if I could do it again, I'd change about 85% of my picks. I don't mind my division picks, but as for the awards...I'm embarrassed.

Speaking of sports...

The UFC had their first pay-per-view ever in Canada. Headlined by one of the best pound for pound MMA fighters in the world, and Hab native, Georges St. Pierre. I'm mentioning this because St. Pierre has lined himself up to go on an epic run in the UFC at his weight class. For those that don't know, St. Pierre is arguably the most well-rounded and definitely the most athletic fighter in MMA. Although, he was supposed to go on such a run against Matt Serra before losing to him a year ago. Well, St. Pierre avenged that loss and now has the focus and drive to be something great. Plus, we'll all hold our breath for a possible Anderson Silva v. Georges St. Pierre mega-fight. Unless, Silva, who is the best LB 4 LB fighter in the world, bumps up to 205 before that.

As I mentioned, the UFC was in Canada, and as a result UFC President Dana White piled the card with Canadians. This resulted in some less than "hyped" fights. Including three strange fights.

The first was Michael Bisping v. Charles McCarthy. Bisping is British as McCarthy claims the UFC is giving Bisping a cupcake schedule to increase appeal overseas. Well, McCarthy backed his words up by covering his face for 5 minutes before a Bisping knee did him in.

Second, was the Rich Franklin v. Travis Lutter fight. Franklin was the former 185 LB. champ before Anderson Silva broke his face...twice. Lutter gave Silva the best fight in the past year or so, and he was going to use Franklin as a springboard back to Silva. However, Lutter has consistently had weight problems, even coming in over the limit when he fought Silva. Well this time, the out of shape Lutter made weight but gassed by the 2nd round, leaving Franklin (an excellent striker) to tee off and finish the pathetic mess that is Travis Lutter.

Last but certainly not least was the most bizarre fight I have ever seen. Nate Quarry v. Kalib Starnes. Starnes is one of the Canadians on the card, fighting in front of his home town. Both are respectable fighters, but for some reason Starnes decided he was going to run from "Rock" Quarry (get it?) all night long. Openly leading to his hometown fans booing him and Quarry openly mocking him in the ring. This of course led to numerous YouTube clips being assembled in his name. There really isn't any words to describe it, so video works better. Oh, and Dana White immediately ripped up Starnes contract after the fight. Seriously...

Kalib Starnes Fights Away From The 90's

Kalib Starnes Runs Away To The 80's

Run Hard: The Kalib Starnes Story


Speaking of UFC...

Normal color commentator, Joe Rogan, was not at ringside due to a family obligation. I tend to think that the pay-per-view was on April 19th, and Rogan [a MASSIVE pothead (still cool guy though)] didn't want to miss any 4/20 action. Either or, I did get to catch his main gig, a comedy show in Philly a couple of weekends ago. I saw his standup on Showtime and it was HIIIILARIOUS, so I did the compu-nerdy thing and checked his Myspace to see if he had any shows coming to town. Sure as shit he did. So a couple of my friends hit it up for our first real comedy show. All I can say is that it was awesome.

The show was at Helium Comedy Club in Philly. It really was my ideal of what a comedy club is, which means it looks like the comedy club that Jerry performs at on Seinfeld.

Rogan was touring with two other comics, both of whom, certainly had their own sense of humor. All of them were hilarious, and warmed up the crowd like champs. There were two things I wanted to see at the show:

1. Rogan bring the place down, of course.
2. Rogan throw out a drunk heckler (he's famous for this)

Luckily I got both. Rogan was hilarious, and a drunk bunch of "dudes" were thrown out for being loud and obnoxious. Everyone I went with called it from the get go as these assclowns were waiting for the show holding a blow up doll and doing certain sexual positions to it. Real geniuses we were dealing with. It gave me great pleasure to see them leave, and Rogan of course ripped into them with is usual brash humor.

The coolest part was that Rogan hung out after and talked to the crowd, took pictures, and just made sure we got our money worth, which I say we did. Check out his DVD (it's in my Recommendations) or just go see a comedy show. Keep an eye out for a guy that you think is funny and just make a night of it. Well worth your time, and South Street is only a cab ride away afterwards.

GO FLYERS!