UFC 100

I'm back!

Brought out of retirement by boredom and being fired up by hypocrites. UFC 100 just wrapped up, and the most controversial win of the night was Brock Lesnar over Frank Mir. Not because of how it ended, but due to the fact that so called "purist" couldn't handle the fact that this ex-pro wrestler destroyed a "true mix martial artist" in Mir.

Long story short, after Brock annihilated Mir, he flipped off the crowd that was booing him and gave one of the greatest post-fight interviews ever. Complete with commentary on mounting his wife.

People are lashing out against the clearly better fighter due to pride, ignorance, and frankly being pussies. MMA isn't human cockfighting, but it's not chess either. MMA is about who has the biggest swinging dick (see. Michael Lewis, "Liar's Poker") in a man v. man scenario. Brock laid down the testosterone in copious amounts.

Now people are revolting the supposedly derogatory antics of the now unanimous champion. Sorry people, but this is what you signed up for. After being booed by the vast majority of crowd, you feel as if he would have fought every single one of them to shut them up. You know what? He would have beat them all.

MMA is about artistry and technique. It's not mindless brawling, but it does take on bravado and machismo more than any sport on earth. When two heated rivals enter the ring, and one embarrasses the other...expect braggadocio. Expect vulgarity. Expect cockiness. This is what you signed up for. As much as MMA fans want the sport to go mainstream, it will, but not on anyone else's terms.

Grow up. Don't settle for political correctness, don't try to treat this sport as if it's fucking polo. For those that were turned of by Brock's post fight...go to hell. You can not like Brock, but don't act as if this is disgusting or lewd. This is what you spent your 50 bucks for.

Kimbo Slice Is Not The Face Of MMA

The sport of mixed martial arts makes its network debut tonight on CBS. The two hour fight card is headlined by the infamous Kimbo Slice. Touted as the face of MMA, rival (and I use rival very loosely) to the far superior UFC, Elite XC has gone the route of many other fledgling MMA leagues by pumping up one individual superstar to carry the entire league. In this case, they have found pay dirt in Kimbo, the former backyard brawler. He carries just enough general popularity and curious intrigue to make MMA and non-MMA fans alike tune it to see what many neophytes in the country think will be a wild swinging/punching brawl that ends in a brutal knockout. That, however, is not what MMA is as a sport, nor what it should be marketed as. The complexities of mixed martial arts is far better understood through what each fighter brings to the octagon/cage/ring as opposed to what is perceived on the surface level.

To Kimbo's credit, he has ridden the wave of MMA popularity to bring himself money and notoriety. He certainly has the strength and punching power to put on a good show, but he lacks the overall polish elite fighters in the sport possess. After knocking out two cupcake fights in the form of Ray Mercer and Tank Abbott [with Abbott's only shot at winning was being powered by his immense hatred for minorities (no, I'm not joking)] Kimbo is hyped up enough to bring in some pretty decent numbers for tonight's TV event. While I'm sure he has been training hard to improve his MMA pedigree there is only so much ground he can make up.

Take for example, UFC Heavyweight Champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. "Minotauro" is a 6'3 241 lb. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master from Brazil. Along with a background in Judo and boxing, Big Nog has also ran through some of the top talent in MMA. Beating the likes of Mirko Cro Cop, Dan Henderson, Josh Barnett, Tim Sylvia, and Mark Coleman. Far from the Mercer and Abbott victories Kimbo has. Now, no one has attempted or even considered putting Kimbo in the same league as Big Nog or any of the previously mentioned heavy weight fighters. The point remains that for Kimbo to be considered by popular culture as an "icon" in the utmost superficial meaning of the word would be misappropriated and borderline enraging to true MMA fans.

There are two types of opinions people have about MMA in general. Either it is brutal and barbaric, a poor man's version of boxing or true MMA fighters are some of the most talented and well-versed athletes in the world today. The product being pumped through the waves of CBS tonight is MMA in some form. There are respected fighters on the card, but as far as Kimbo being the fighter to represent the whole spectrum of he certainly is not. So when he does fight, or when you read about it in the paper or online, keep in mind that at this point he is more circus sideshow than world class MMA fighter.

Courtesy Flush

First off, I would like to apologize for my baseball picks. I'll admit, they were a little rushed, and although I'm not willing to write them off entirely since we are just at the 20 game mark, a lot of my "predictions" have been horrible. For example, the Tigers winning the World Series without any bullpen and a new offense that hasn't meshed yet. Then there's me not picking Chase Utley for NL MVP. Nine homers later, I feel like a bum. Not only because he is my favorite Phil, but I deliberately did not pick Chase because I didn't want to seem biased. So if I could do it again, I'd change about 85% of my picks. I don't mind my division picks, but as for the awards...I'm embarrassed.

Speaking of sports...

The UFC had their first pay-per-view ever in Canada. Headlined by one of the best pound for pound MMA fighters in the world, and Hab native, Georges St. Pierre. I'm mentioning this because St. Pierre has lined himself up to go on an epic run in the UFC at his weight class. For those that don't know, St. Pierre is arguably the most well-rounded and definitely the most athletic fighter in MMA. Although, he was supposed to go on such a run against Matt Serra before losing to him a year ago. Well, St. Pierre avenged that loss and now has the focus and drive to be something great. Plus, we'll all hold our breath for a possible Anderson Silva v. Georges St. Pierre mega-fight. Unless, Silva, who is the best LB 4 LB fighter in the world, bumps up to 205 before that.

As I mentioned, the UFC was in Canada, and as a result UFC President Dana White piled the card with Canadians. This resulted in some less than "hyped" fights. Including three strange fights.

The first was Michael Bisping v. Charles McCarthy. Bisping is British as McCarthy claims the UFC is giving Bisping a cupcake schedule to increase appeal overseas. Well, McCarthy backed his words up by covering his face for 5 minutes before a Bisping knee did him in.

Second, was the Rich Franklin v. Travis Lutter fight. Franklin was the former 185 LB. champ before Anderson Silva broke his face...twice. Lutter gave Silva the best fight in the past year or so, and he was going to use Franklin as a springboard back to Silva. However, Lutter has consistently had weight problems, even coming in over the limit when he fought Silva. Well this time, the out of shape Lutter made weight but gassed by the 2nd round, leaving Franklin (an excellent striker) to tee off and finish the pathetic mess that is Travis Lutter.

Last but certainly not least was the most bizarre fight I have ever seen. Nate Quarry v. Kalib Starnes. Starnes is one of the Canadians on the card, fighting in front of his home town. Both are respectable fighters, but for some reason Starnes decided he was going to run from "Rock" Quarry (get it?) all night long. Openly leading to his hometown fans booing him and Quarry openly mocking him in the ring. This of course led to numerous YouTube clips being assembled in his name. There really isn't any words to describe it, so video works better. Oh, and Dana White immediately ripped up Starnes contract after the fight. Seriously...

Kalib Starnes Fights Away From The 90's

Kalib Starnes Runs Away To The 80's

Run Hard: The Kalib Starnes Story


Speaking of UFC...

Normal color commentator, Joe Rogan, was not at ringside due to a family obligation. I tend to think that the pay-per-view was on April 19th, and Rogan [a MASSIVE pothead (still cool guy though)] didn't want to miss any 4/20 action. Either or, I did get to catch his main gig, a comedy show in Philly a couple of weekends ago. I saw his standup on Showtime and it was HIIIILARIOUS, so I did the compu-nerdy thing and checked his Myspace to see if he had any shows coming to town. Sure as shit he did. So a couple of my friends hit it up for our first real comedy show. All I can say is that it was awesome.

The show was at Helium Comedy Club in Philly. It really was my ideal of what a comedy club is, which means it looks like the comedy club that Jerry performs at on Seinfeld.

Rogan was touring with two other comics, both of whom, certainly had their own sense of humor. All of them were hilarious, and warmed up the crowd like champs. There were two things I wanted to see at the show:

1. Rogan bring the place down, of course.
2. Rogan throw out a drunk heckler (he's famous for this)

Luckily I got both. Rogan was hilarious, and a drunk bunch of "dudes" were thrown out for being loud and obnoxious. Everyone I went with called it from the get go as these assclowns were waiting for the show holding a blow up doll and doing certain sexual positions to it. Real geniuses we were dealing with. It gave me great pleasure to see them leave, and Rogan of course ripped into them with is usual brash humor.

The coolest part was that Rogan hung out after and talked to the crowd, took pictures, and just made sure we got our money worth, which I say we did. Check out his DVD (it's in my Recommendations) or just go see a comedy show. Keep an eye out for a guy that you think is funny and just make a night of it. Well worth your time, and South Street is only a cab ride away afterwards.

GO FLYERS!

Courtesy Flush: Sports Edition

Just a quick run through of some sports over the past week. ONWARDS!

Sadly, I was at that Eagles disaster on Sunday. I'm actually glad to say that I saw this final 97 yard drive by Brian Griese coming. You see, one of the benefits of being a long-suffering Philadelphia sports fan, you begin to anticipate and expect crushing defeats to take place. No regular season loss has been as devistating in recent years as that loss to the Bears. It officially ended the Eagles hopes of making the playoffs this year. This isn't just because this was a bitter loss, but due to the fact that the Birds still have two games against Dallas, one more against NY Giants and Washington, at New England, against Seattle, and at New Orleans. The key to this season was getting off to a fast start to help guide the Birds through the end of their schedule, that hasn't happened. Also, the rest of the NFC East are a combined 15-5.

Rough Sunday if you were a Boston sports fan:

If you aren't lucky enough to have Tom Brady quarterbacking your actual football team, it is just as good to have you QB-ing your fantasy football team. After a ridiculous 6 TD performance, it is clear that the Pats are going to run up the score on every team, and their run game is secondary to Brady's TD numbers. Here's what I said about Brady's fantasy impact in my NFL East Preview:

Best Fantsy Player: Tom Brady - he finally gets to have a multitude of weapons around him. With Randy Moss and Donte Stallworth at WR and Laurence Maroney coming into his own at RB it is almost like Brady is being spoiled. He should be able to extract TD's like a surgeon extracts a gall bladder this year.

As for the Red Sox, they came storming back from a 3-1 hole to beat the Indians in Game 7 hours after the aforementioned Pats won yet again. Personally, I'm happy that Daisuke Matsuzaka got the important start and pitched very well. He's been under a lot of pressure to be this elite pitcher right away, and it is going to take a year or two for him just to get comfortable to the new environment. Everyone makes a big deal about his $100 million contract, but he didn't ask the Red Sox to spend half of that just for negotiating rights. It is a bloated number, and I feel that along with an average year for this supposed phenom has caused people to give him a harder time than he deserves.

In the World Series this year, it is obvious that no one has any idea what will happen. Either team could sweep, it could go 7 games, every game could be a blowout, every game could be close, hell with the series going to snowy Denver in late October, we may not even finish this whole thing until early March. It is a complete wild card on all fronts. Too much is relied on for too many different things to take place to make any kind of confident predictions aside from, the Sox have experience or the Rockies lay off will hurt them. I did pick the Sox at the beginning of the year, so I'm sticking with them because it is more fun to be right than wrong, but I will say I think the whole series will fall in line with how Game 1 goes. It is the battle of the post season masters: Josh Beckett and his post season career vs. The 7-0, 21 of their last 22 Colorado Rockies. If Beckett pulls through and shuts down the Rocks, I like Boston, but if the Rockies come out firing another World Series Championship may not happen for the BoSox. Not like Boston doesn't have enough trophies nowadays.

On another bizarre note, ex-Phillie Paul Byrd has been linked to HGH. You'd think the feds would release, you know, good baseball players to link to HGH. Sort of play up that, it's ruining the game and tainting the sport type angle. If Paul Byrd, Jay Gibbons, and Jason Grimsley are HGH users, then maybe it's just making baseball players that would normally suck ass slightly more tolerable. In some weird way, it may actually be improving the sport. If Wes Helms hits 15 homers next year, investigators may wanna check out his bank statements.

(Note: the image is not altered. Paul Byrd really is that short and stumpy.)
(Note: Byrd released this statement in regards to HGH allegations, "Look at me! I look like an albino Smurf, and you're going to accuse me of HGH?")
(Note: I just made that quote up.)

Finally, UFC had it's latest pay-per-view on Saturday. UFC 77: Hostile Territory. While usually spectacular, this PPV was pretty weak and disappointing. There were two highlights. The first was the official announcement of Brock Lesnar as a UFC signee. Brock is a former amateur wrestling champ, professional wrestling champ, and had his attempt at becoming a professional football player thwarted a couple years ago when he was cut from the Minnesota Vikings. However, Brock may have found his calling with UFC. Stronger, faster, and more skilled than virtually any heavyweight in UFC, the only question with Brock is his ability to strike and take a hit. If he can be successful at those two things, then he will surely be a champion.

Secondly, and more impressive, was the main event of Anderson Silva vs. Rich Franklin. Silva has been on a tear as of late since beating Franklin for the UFC Middleweight Championship by essentially breaking his face with knees. This time was just a pure tactical display of fighting by Silva. Virtually unchallenged all night by Franklin, Silva knocked down Franklin at the end of the 1st Round before finishing him off in the 2nd. It was about as impressive a victory as I have seen, and firmly place Silva as one of the best fighters on the planet. The only challenge may come from Dan Henderson, who is currently in the 205-lb. weight class division, who would have to cut weight to fight Silva. Something Henderson has done back in his Pride fighting days.

Here's a link to Silva's beat down of Nate Marquardt.